睡不着的晚上：挂網。找點子。找出路。

媽媽睡不着。

2016年，這次是第2次失眠。躺著躺著眼睛有點累，打了幾個哈欠卻沒什麽睡意。看書嗎？關了燈的房間，怎麽看？窗外的燈光照進房間亮度不足，怎麽看？白天晚上都沒辦法看書。白天你會跟媽媽搶書。

上網看看，想找看有沒有可以讓媽媽在家好好跟你一起學習方法或更好的點子還是什麽的。媽媽選擇“跟你在家一起學習”這條路，非堅定的有點沒什麽出路之下就走。可是這條路怎麽走著走著，媽媽好像迷路了。正規規劃學習好像不是媽媽的能走的路，走著看看試著走看看那種，那種生活上的學習的路好像可以走走看，不過這樣行嗎？

這兩個星期媽媽再次嘗試（放棄多時），媽媽又是軟的硬的誘的騙的逼的...終于你肯握筆（不過要媽媽握你的手）寫字。呵呵！怎麽開始的？等你要求吃是關鍵，然後關上筆電跟你説，我們用畫的或用寫的。寫你懂得字，句子。

“I want lunch"
"I want juice"
"I want ....."

當然媽媽知道寫字基礎都沒打好。可是讓你乖乖坐著握筆寫字母。你會依嗎？雖然以前有段時間爸爸媽媽努力讓你寫寫簡單的英文字母有"o" "l" "i" "w" "a"  ... 不過停寫好一段時候了。你討厭。打字就很厲害。那個每天跟媽媽討吃的"script"用得好好。

目前媽媽還是做不到什麽規劃。傷腦筋！

話語還是沒有，咬字不清不楚（apraxia of speech?? 還沒有遇着有關專業治療師給予答案，不過媽媽大概想也是)媽媽應該怎麽做？上網看著學卻不是這麽看看就學的來，然後媽媽用了自己的方法。媽媽聽到了你叫“媽媽”。六年，等了六年。

What are some signs or symptoms of childhood apraxia of speech?
Not all children with CAS are the same. All of the signs and symptoms listed below may not be present in every child. It is important to have your child evaluated by a speech-language pathologist (SLP) who has knowledge of CAS to rule out other causes of speech problems. General things to look for include the following:

A Very Young Child

• Does not coo or babble as an infant

• First words are late, and they may be missing sounds

• Only a few different consonant and vowel sounds

• Problems combining sounds; may show long pauses between sounds

• Simplifies words by replacing difficult sounds with easier ones or by deleting difficult sounds (although all children do this, the child with apraxia of speech does so more often)

• May have problems eating

An Older Child

• Makes inconsistent sound errors that are not the result of immaturity

• Can understand language much better than he or she can talk

• Has difficulty imitating speech, but imitated speech is more clear than spontaneous speech

• May appear to be groping when attempting to produce sounds or to coordinate the lips, tongue, and jaw for purposeful movement

• Has more difficulty saying longer words or phrases clearly than shorter ones

• Appears to have more difficulty when he or she is anxious

• Is hard to understand, especially for an unfamiliar listener

• Sounds choppy, monotonous, or stresses the wrong syllable or word

Potential Other Problems

• Delayed language development

• Other expressive language problems like word order confusions and word recall

• Difficulties with fine motor movement/coordination

• Over sensitive (hypersensitive) or under sensitive (hyposensitive) in their mouths (e.g., may not like toothbrushing or crunchy foods, may not be able to identify an object in their mouth through touch)

• Children with CAS or other speech problems may have problems when learning to read, spell, and write

摘了一段關於childhood apraxia of speech的跡象跟狀況。參考：Childhood Apraxia of Speech， American Speech-Language-Hearing Association

前年后半年開始，有1年半媽媽放慢脚步到後來停下脚步，從新起步可是拖著的是沉重的脚步。沒有停下來的意思，媽媽還是牽著你走。

找出路吧！媽媽應該要好好思考我們的方向我們的目的地（目標），漫無目的的走真的不是辦法。或許媽媽的個性本來就是這樣。原本朝著這個方向走，走著走著媽媽卻走到另一個方向，走出不在計劃的生活。

那還要計劃規劃嗎？